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Show Me Yours Blogfest

Sarah at Falen Formulates Fiction came up with this wonderful idea for all of us who signed up for and struggled through NaNoWriMo to share up to 500 words of that novel on our blogs today.


I have chosen to post the beginning of my MG Contemporary with a paranormal twist, which I admit has only been revised once and may be cut altogether at some point in the future. I'm just not quite sure it starts in the right place.

The picture above is one I stumbled upon while browsing Google Images for inspiration. She is what I imagine when I think of my MC.


The Witch Of Logan County

If queen bee Abigail Withers called me a wannabe loser one more time, I was gonna let her have it; even if it meant I'd have to kiss a pig. Who was she to decide I wasn't cheerleader material?

Sssniff.

Warren stood behind me, next to our lockers, and I knew what the sound of his inhaler meant. I was making him nervous. Fists clenched, I felt the strange sensation of unchewed nails digging into my palms. I was not backing down. Not this time.

Your move, horse face, I thought. I had always found it poetic that Abigail's last name was so closely associated with her twin from the animal kingdom.

We'd drawn quite a crowd in the seventh grade hallway considering the final bell had sounded nearly twenty minutes earlier. Finals were over, and there was only one day left until my summer of despair.

"Better get going, Roxanne. You wouldn't want your boyfriend to have a seizure," Abigail said.

"He's not my boyfriend, and he's got asthma not epilepsy, you dolt." God, how I loved to work a vocab word into everyday conversation.

My nemesis looked stunned. Her jaw dropped and I could almost see the wheels turning as she tried to figure out what I'd just called her, searching for the definition among cheer routines, pop music lyrics and this week's new text message abbreviations. Her snappy comeback didn't surprise me.

"Whatever, loser. Have fun at your granny's this summer. Maybe she won't turn you into a frog."

                                                               ***

Thanks so much for stopping by the blog today. I'm off to enjoy the other entries!

26 comments:

Tony Benson said...

I think I'd like to meet her granny! Good scene, thank you.

Margo Benson said...

That's a great excerpt, grabs you into the story and leaves you wanting more!

L'Aussie said...

I think you should definitely keep this. I love the sassiness of the MC. Great, Lisa.

Ellie said...

I like this opening; it's straight in with the action and a great scene. Love your writing.

Jon Paul said...

Great hook right from the beginning. You certainly had me engaged and I wanted to keep reading.

I'd venture that this is a keeper. Thanks for sharing it!

J.C. Martin said...

I really enjoyed the exchange. Abigail's mean! :( Great little excerpt.

Kari Marie said...

I can really see your character's personality here. What a great scene.

Colene Murphy said...

Wonderful! I lost track of hoe many snickers you got from me! Love it. Hope to hear more of this granny and sassy gal in the future!

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

ooh this is excellent! The voice is super strong and i definitely want to read more. 500 words was not enough for your exceprt.
Great job!

Rebecca T. said...

I love it! Particularly enjoyed the part where Abigail can't figure out what the MC just called her. nice!

Hannah Kincade said...

The MC's voice stands out throughout! Great job! I want to know where the paranormal stuff comes in!

Thank you for joining us!

Hart Johnson said...

Love your MCs voice and she sounds very authentically 12 (which isn't easy) so great job! I'd definitely like to read more!

The Golden Eagle said...

I love the voice of the character! Great excerpt/blogfest post!

Alison Stevens said...

Terrific voice!

kelworthfiles said...

My immediate response to the first sentence: "Why would anybody wanna be a loser? ;)"
I liked Roxanne. Didn't quite understand what the pig-kissing reference was all about, but that's not a big deal.
And I think that summer with Granny may be something very different from despair!
Thanks for sharing this excerpt with us all.

Summer Ross said...

Witty dialogue, you get right into character right away. I enjoyed the read. thanks for posting

Jemi Fraser said...

Great characters - I've got a great sense for 4 of them in this little space - well done :)

Elizabeth Twist said...

I liked this opening! I think you should keep it, or something very much like it. Thanks for sharing!

Steph Sinkhorn said...

Ha! I love myself a spunky heroine :) I like her already.

S.A.Hussey said...

Love your MC - she has so much spunk and attitude. Great opening - pulls you in. Great job!

Summer Frey said...

Gosh, I couldn't find the comments for a while...but I figured it out eventually...

Love the line against the queen bee! Yay for smart girls. :)

Jodi Henry said...

I love that your MC has a great vocab and uses it to insult the people who aren't as smart as she is.

Beautiful voice too.

J

Jessica Lei said...

OMG great voice, RIGHT from the beginning. I can hear the MG perfectly. It was somehow cute yet interesting and serious. Thank you for sharing!

Caroline said...

I love, love, love this: "Warren stood behind me, next to our lockers, and I knew what the sound of his inhaler meant."

Great excerpt!

Amie Kaufman said...

Oh, snap, love it. What great voice!

But what happens next? WHAT?

Rogue Mutt said...

This seems like a good start.

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